[attachment=847]
Can your kids 'catch' your stress? You may think you're doing a good job of shielding your kids from
your anxiety and stress. But research shows that your children are
probably picking up on it anyway—and
it's affecting them, physically and emotionally, more than you could imagine.
你或许认为你做的很好，把你的压力和焦虑屏蔽掉了，不让孩子被传染。但是，研究表明你的躯体疾病和精神压力被孩子全然传染的程度超过你的想象。
"Parental stress can weaken the development of a child's brain or immune system, increasing the risk of allergies, obesity, or mental disorders," says
David Code, author of
"Kids Pick Up on Everything." Research shows that kids can "catch" their parents' stress, overloading their systems until they act out or exhibit mental and physical illness, he says. "Stress is highly contagious between parent and child, even if the parent is unaware of his or her own anxiety."
“父母的压力可以削弱孩子的大脑或免疫系统的发展，增加过敏的风险，肥胖，或精神失常”，《孩子能模仿一切》的作者、大卫蔻德说，研究表明，孩子们可以“捕捉”父母的压力，他们的系统超载，直到他们的行为或表现出的精神和身体疾病。 “压力在家长和孩子之间有高度传染性，即使家长不知道他或她自己的焦虑。”
Parenting expert Lori Lite, a mother of three, author, and founder of the
"Stress Free Kids" line of books, CDs, and lesson plans, agrees. "I do believe that children feel their parents' stress," she says. "Children that do not know how to manage stress in a healthy manner will see it manifest in other areas like overeating, headaches, even anger."
育儿专家，三个孩子的母亲，《无压力子女》在线书籍、CD光盘和教案创始人，洛瑞莱特，对此表示赞同。 “我认为，孩子会感受到父母的压力，”她说。“孩子们不知道如何健康管理压力，但是只看到它外显的领域，如暴饮暴食，头痛，甚至愤怒。” But how do kids know that something's wrong, even when we keep telling them—and ourselves—that everything is fine? Neuroscientists call it attunement, and it may have to do with our ability to feel empathy. "Attunement is basically a fancy word for what we used to call the mother-infant bond, where parent and child are so attuned to each other that the child can pick up on a parent's stress and absorb it almost by osmosis," explains Code, who calls it "the mind-body connection" in his book. "It's not so much what we say or do to our kids. It's more about the 'vibe' we give off in their presence. We simply cannot fake being calm to our kids."
但孩子们如何知晓事情出了岔子? 只因就连我们也不断告知他们和我们自己，一切都很好。神经学家把它称作点化，它可能逼我们换位思考的能力。蔻德在他的书中解释说 “点化基本上是一个我们曾使用的母婴纽带，使得父母与子女之间相互适应，这叫“身心连接”。 “这不是我们对孩子说什么或做什么，而是我们外显的一种给予孩子们的“心电感应”，我们不能假装很平静地对孩子”。
Many parents aren't even aware of how high their stress levels really are, Code points out. Between
the still-weak economy and our increasingly
isolated modern lifestyle, "stressed out" has become the new normal. The
push to be the perfect parent is also ratcheting up the stress levels—and harming children rather than helping them. "It's not about, 'The more attention I give my kid, the better they'll turn out.' Rather, it's about, "The calmer and more social I am, the better my kid will turn out',' Code says. "It turns out we were so busy killing ourselves to make our kids happy that our stress is now making them unhealthy."
蔻德指出，许多家长甚至不知道他们自己的焦虑程度真正有多高，正值经济疲软和日益孤独的现代生活形式，压力外显已经成为新的常态。追求完美的父母不是帮助孩子减压而是推高压力，伤害他们。它不是我们想象或认为的：“给予孩子更多的关注，孩子就能更好；而恰恰相反，我们父母越是平静、成为一个社会自我，孩子将成长更好”。 “事实证明了，我们拼命围绕孩子工作的结果就是我们的压力会转移给孩子而带来孩子的不健康。” Even parents who know that they're under a lot of stress often fail to notice that their
kids' stress levels are high, too. A 2010 study
by the American Psychological Association found that one third of age 8 to 17 reported having had headaches within the past month, but only 13 percent of their parents thought the headaches were a result of stress. Forty-four percent of the kids surveyed said that they had trouble sleeping because of stress, but only 13 percent of their parents noticed it. And while 20 percent of the kids in the survey said that they worry "a great deal or a lot," only three percent of their parents rated the kids' stress as "extreme."
虽然父母们知道他们有很大的压力，但却浑然不知他们孩子们的压力程度也很高。 2010年一个由美国心理学协会的研究发现，8至17岁的孩子中，有33%的人曾在过去一个月内的头痛，但只有13％的孩子的父母认为孩子头痛是压力的结果。44%的接受调查的孩子说，他们有睡眠障碍，但只有13％父母注意到了这点。调查中，20％的受访孩子表示，他们担心“很多或很严重”，但只有3％的父母评论孩子压力“很严重”。
Headaches, trouble sleeping, and irritability are
common reactions to stress among both adults and children, pediatrician Dr. Michelle L. Bailey, director of education at Duke Integrative Medicine and the author of
"Parenting Your Stressed Out Child," said during
a seminar at Duke University in June.
今年六月，杜克大学中西医结合教育署署长、《教育孩子无压力成长》的作者、儿科医生米歇尔L.贝利，在杜克大学学术研讨会上说：“头痛、失眠、易怒是压力下成人和儿童的常态反应”。 "Parents can help by learning to talk about and model stress reduction techniques with their kids," Dr. Bailey said. She suggests that "mindful practices" such as paying attention to one's thoughts and emotions without passing judgment can help.“
“家长可以通过与孩子交谈压力模型技术，帮助他们的孩子，”贝利博士说，她建议“用心实践”诸如关注孩子们的情绪和想法但不做评判可以帮助孩子减压。
"A lot of stress is not a reaction to actual danger, but a reaction to our thoughts," she explained. "Being mindful gives children time to deliberately notice their thoughts and choose how to respond, rather than moving automatically into a stressful state."
“很多压力并不反应出实际危险，但过激的反应的是我们的想法，”她解释说，“用心给孩子时间去刻意发现他们的想法和选择如何回应，而不是自动进入紧张的状态”。Lowering your own stress levels can do wonders for your kids as well, Code points out: "The lower our stress response, the fewer verbal cues parents pass on to their children, so kids' stress response stays lower, too."
蔻德指出，降低自己的压力水平，可以给孩子奇迹般降压，“降低我们的压力反应，少对孩子说压力话语，孩子的压力状态就低。”
Lori Lite of "Stress Free Kids" has some simple ideas for
lowering stress levels. "Actual relaxation techniques like deep breathing, visualizing, and positive statements can be incorporated throughout your day with very little effort," she suggests. "Explain to your children that you are calming yourself down and remember to use positive statements when you are feeling frustrated. Blowing bubbles is a stress reducer and fun activity enjoyed by all ages. With a little practice, relaxation techniques will become second nature to you and your children."
洛瑞莱特的《无压力子女》中有一些简单可行的降压方法。“在一天中，稍作努力就很有效的，现实放松技巧，如深呼吸，可视化，并积极发言”，她建议；“向孩子解释平静自己，并记住当感到无助时，积极心态去面对。吹泡泡，是一个适合各年龄的，即减压有有趣的活动。只要稍加练习，放松技巧，将成为你和你的孩子第二自然特性”。 "Not only is it fun looking for ways to lower stress for your children," she adds, "but parents receive the added benefit of lowering their own stress levels and experiencing more joy."
“对孩子来说不仅是乐趣可以降压”，她补充说，“同时，父母也得益于降低自己的压力和享受更多欢乐”。
by
Lylah M. Alphonse, Senior Editor, Manage Your Life, on Fri Sep 23, 2011 12:29pm PDT
Parenting Monday, September 26, 2011 from yahoo本人翻译供参考
